


i know things changed but i'm not sure when

by lastphanhope



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Established Relationship, M/M, parent!phan
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-23
Updated: 2015-12-23
Packaged: 2018-05-08 16:27:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,459
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5504705
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lastphanhope/pseuds/lastphanhope
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Summary: Lily grows up and it feels like she will be taller than Dan and Phil both will (unlikely)-OR- the one where Dan and Phil watch their daughter grow up far too quickly , one minute they’re driving her to the first day of nursery ,the next she’s driving herself to sixth form.</p>
            </blockquote>





	i know things changed but i'm not sure when

**Author's Note:**

> Title from Came Out Swinging by The Wonder Years

It’s the 18th of March when they get a letter from the adoption agency saying they’ve been approved. They get home from a Radio One meeting and it’s an early Sunday morning and they plan to go straight back to bed and sleep till three.

Except their plans change when they find a letter on the doormat bearing the logo of the adoption agency, Dan sees it first and he freezes and stares at it. Phil shakes his arm and after an unresponsive saying of Dan’s name, he follows Dan’s line of eye and freezes too.

They look up at each other and this is it, this feels like the rest of their lives, they know they’ve either been accepted or disapproved and they are terrified.

Dan bends down after Phil nods minutely at him and Dan sits on the bottom step, Phil the one above him. Phil places his hand on Dan’s shoulder, a silent encouragement.

It’s ripped open, hurried and impatient.

They paint, what’s now, the spare room a soft orange colour and they find wallpaper patterned with zoo animals which they paste to two opposing walls. They haven’t done too bad of a job, it’s constructing furniture that they find the most difficult.

They finish late one night and they’re tired and proud and it really begins to sink in that they’re going to be parents. Real proper parents, who have this life to take care of, and raise, and care fore and love. And fuck they’re going to love this child so much.

The first time they get to hold Lily is the happiest day of Phil’s life and it’s the most he’s ever cried. They take her home the same day and Phil feels like they’re finally well on their way with the forever plan, him ,Dan and Lily.

The following months mainly consist of getting up in the middle of the night, more nappies than Phil’s ever seen in his life, and rushed and not their best uploads on YouTube, their subscribers understand though and that’s more than they could hope for.

It’s also visits from family members and friend, coming to see the new addition to the Howell-Lester family, seeing her tiny fingernails and toes and eyelashes. 

There’s soft dark hair atop her head and bright green eyes and she’s mostly unlike either of them but she’s still undoubtedly their’s. She normally wakes at the same times in the night and enjoys the hanging animals from her play mat. Dan plays the piano for her somedays and it lulls her to sleep, Phil sing and it makes her gurgle and grab at his hair.

They’re so unbelievably tired and they now sleep in restless fits trying to hear if Lily wakes but they are also so unbelievably happy and Phil never thought when he replied to Dan on twitter that day would it be the start of the rest of his life.

LIly’s two now and she’s happy and loud and full of life. Walking and talking, climbing on the sofa, into Dan and Phil’s bed at night, scribbling on paper with crayon and identifying the shapeless drawings as ‘Daddy’ and ‘Papa’, they stick them on the walls in the kitchen and look at them when making a cup of tea.

Louise and Darcy visit often, the’re greeted at the doorway with hugs and laughs and more hugs. Darcy has a new best friend, showing Lily her barbies and her drawing skills. Louise is their main source of advice and is helpful in every way possible and they’re so grateful for a friend like Louise. 

She’s started Nursery and Dan and Phil drive her there together her first day and she has the uniform on and plaits in, taught to Dan by Louise, and she looks anxious and she clutches Phil’s hand when she gets out the car and they walk her to the door. They have to just about pry her off them when they hug goodbye. They go home and cry for a bit, go back to pick Lily up and it all went well in the end and she even made a friend.

At five she’s started school and she has bouncing ginger curls and bright green eyes, she’s articulate and learns the piano like her Dad and selfless and kind like her Papa.

They’re still doing the radio show and YouTube, Phil still tell stories of the strange people he meets and Dan does less ‘reasons why Dan’s a fail’s. They do cooking videos a lot, ‘Days in the life of Dan and Phil’ become ‘Day in the life of Dan, Phil and Lily’.The gaming channel is still going and Lily often appears to try very hard to beat her parents. They let her win sometimes.

It’s her tenth birthday and Phil has a back garden filled with children the same age as her as well as family. They decided it’s time for birthday cake and there’s a race to the table to sit next to the birthday girl, who’s curls have darkened and grown. She’s wearing a green dress, birthday present from Louise and Darcy, it matches her eyes and she’s careful with it. 

They sing happy birthday and the ten candles are blown out, pictures are took and three cheers are performed. Soon enough five o clock come and everybody’s leaving. Dan and Phil bring things in from outside while Lily watches tv and if they cry a bit that’s nobodies business.

At fifteen Lily’s stressed and sad a lot. She has here GCSEs next year and homework is heavy and difficult, lessons are boring but important. Dan found his first grey hair and they’ve moved somewhere else, close to Lily’s school but it’s nicer and they can afford that now and Lily doesn’t complain because he bedrooms bigger here.

She also has her first heartbreak at fifteen, she comes home crying and Phil volunteers to be the one to knock softly on the door and ask the problem. Lily lets him in and he sits next to her on the bed, she leans into him and Phil strokes her hair while the tears subside. 

“hey, you’re okay, whats up?” Phil asks when she’s only sniffing.

“Josh, we broke up, it was a mutual thing but I’m still sad, that’s okay, right?” She looks up at Phil and she trusts him.

“Of course it’s okay to still be sad.” She turns and hugs him then, her breath catches and she’s about to start crying again, Phil knows.

“Me and your Dad broke up once yknow?”

Lily looks up shocked and confused “no but you and Dad are like made for each other why would you do that? How long for? Why?” and she almost back to her usual questioning self. 

“It was, the subscribers were convinced we were together, which we were, they weren’t wrong. But your Dad got really defensive about it, insisting we weren’t, I didn’t mind, I would be fine with coming out. I don’t, your Dad wasn’t ready, I told him if he was so hell bent on us not been together to the subscribers, than maybe we shouldn’t be together.” Lily looks at him as if he’s mad and he probably was but it did them good he supposes. “We had drifted apart anyway, sleeping in separate beds, only having necessary conversations. 

It tore us both apart a little bit but we got the radio show and we grew back together and now we have all of this and you.” Lily wraps her arms around her Papa’s waist and they sit there for a while until she pulls back “Thank you Papa, love you” Phil’s chest tightens and he tucks her hair behind her ear “of course, I love you too. Would you like to come downstairs and we’ll watch a film?” 

They squish up on the sofa and pull blankets in top of themselves and eat popcorn till Lily feels better. 

Lily passes her GCSEs with As,Bs,an A*,and a C, Dan and Phil are so unbelievably proud of her and they cry a lot with her, she’s now this beautiful young women who’s about to go into the world and live her life her own way.

She decides to study English Language, English Literature, Psychology and Music at sixth form at the same school. 

The pre school year nerves come back,after a summer of travelling around Europe, both for Lily,and Dan and Phil. She driving herself there now with a newly earned license and leaves with worried and encouraging words from her Dads. 

She sends them a picture of her parking job followed by a thumbs up emoji and she’ll be more than fine.

**Author's Note:**

> hmu on tumblr!! (lastphanhope)


End file.
